"This might mess the whole thing up"
What happens when the will to create and the will to love become one- even when it means risking the loss of what once was?
747 days ago this Peacock painting came to a completion, yet some part of me sensed there was more to be revealed. Well, that time has come- and it connects with a personal thread around trauma healing that weaves within mythic perspective.
If you look deeply into my eyes (and the eyes of the bird) in the photo below (taken when the painting was first completed) you might just sense/see the untold story:
There's no guarantee that what this painting is asking for now will be a visual success.
What’s coming next could completely "ruin" the image- yet it's what's happening on the inside that counts:
Embodied Soul connection has always been my primary objective in art, in teaching, in life, long before I could consciously understand or articulate it.
Daring to accept the Muse's invitations to explore and discover what could be, even when it means risking the loss of what once was, enlivens and transforms me, dissolving barriers of separation and deepening trust and faith in myself, in life, and in the greater field that guides my work.
It has taken decades for me to be able to rationalize why I do what I do, in the way that I do it, when there’s so much about my process that doesn’t make sense on a pragmatic level. But maybe rationalizing isn’t the point.
When the layers are pulled back, wisdom is revealed.
I'm drawn to time-intensive creative processes not only for a love of beauty, or the breathtaking thrill of witnessing wonder emerge in front of my eyes through the hard-earned labor of patience and staying with myself in the ups and downs -but of the embodied presence that creative endeavors like this require. To me, this is yoga:
I believe we all have our own unique ways of accessing embodied presence- of remembering our true nature.
For me, art happens to be one of those pathways.
These artworks have been helping me rewire my brain and nervous system to greater coherence for decades, long before I was conscious to what was unfolding.
They’re outer reflections of inner excavation and communion, in dialogue and conversation with transpersonal archetypes that connect us in our shared humanity- visual representations of inner synaptic connections reweaving themselves back to wholeness within an ever-expanding palette, literally and metaphorically.
Through presence, I remember and am transformed, over and over again.
I'm sharing these "before" photos in honor of this painting, formerly titled The Alchemist, in its life, death, and emerging rebirth…
….and in gratitude for the immense blessing and privilege to labor in such intimate and beautiful ways.
If this share sparks something in you, I’d love to hear more about it in the comments, and/or invite you to follow along if you’re curious to see how this painting unfolds from here.
Phew, time to leap! But first… a Nature Walk.
